Years of social media silliness in the making.... THE YAM SALVE SONG HAS ARRIVED!
Courtesy of Paul Shapera.
BEHOLD!
The Yam Salve Song!
*For an explanation of the origins of the yam salve song, there are earlier posts about something called "Categories"
**Also, totally NSFW so you might not want to blast it in your cubicle**
***But you definitely want to blast it at home***
Showing posts with label Categories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Categories. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Friday, March 1, 2013
Categories Player Interview the Thirteenth: Hearstar Indigo Lovetouch
Introduction
Heartstar Indigo Lovetouch is a creature out of legend that is larger than legend and much, much larger than miniature ponies. The champion, mascot, and savior of the Categories Players our favorite flying unicorn has agreed to give us a tiny glimpse of the gargantuan mind behind the horn. Words cannot describe the joy I felt at reading the words, "I am a big fan of Spotty Blog's work, and honored to be featured."
I believe I felt the Lovetouch for which thou art named, Heartstar Indigo Lovetouch. I am aglow.
Interview
Q. Flying or galloping?
A. Flying, as it is a much more majestic way to make an entrance. Generally I gallop around the house, though.
Q. Current profession?
A. Ass-kicker and champion for the downtrodden.
Q. Favorite color?
A. Indigo, natch.
Q. First thought when confronted with waking up?
A. Will today be the day I finally gore Dick Cheney with my magical horn?
Q. Are you a lover or a fighter?
A. A fighter for sure, but my strength comes from the collective love of 12 year old girls and gay men everywhere, so...
Q. Favorite Categories thing?
A. Mark Boltz's insane obsession with yam salve.
Q. What were you doing right before I started asking you a bunch of inane questions?
A. Preening my fantastic and impressive wings.
Q. Can you elucidate on some of your unique ass-kicking powers?
A. I discover new ones every day! But I am a trained in the art of tae-corn do, which is a unique brand of mma for unicorns. I have various magical powers that are only revealed to those whom I fight... so hopefully you never find out what they are.
Q. Favorite food thing of the moment?
A. Baked hay casserole with truffle oil.
Q. What are your thoughts on the subject of yam salve?
A. If Mark Boltz knew what it REALLY was, he wouldn't be slathering it around so generously. (I am also omniscient)
Q. Tell us about your current creative project/s.
A. Currently I am working on a book called "Unicorns: The Truth Behind the Horn" which will expose a lot of misconceptions, half truths and downright myths about winged unicorns. I also have a 7 octave range and am working on a concept album with Enya.
Heartstar Indigo Lovetouch can be found ass-kicking all over facebook here:
https://www.facebook.com/heartstarindigo.lovetouch
Heartstar Indigo Lovetouch is a creature out of legend that is larger than legend and much, much larger than miniature ponies. The champion, mascot, and savior of the Categories Players our favorite flying unicorn has agreed to give us a tiny glimpse of the gargantuan mind behind the horn. Words cannot describe the joy I felt at reading the words, "I am a big fan of Spotty Blog's work, and honored to be featured."
I believe I felt the Lovetouch for which thou art named, Heartstar Indigo Lovetouch. I am aglow.
Interview
Q. Flying or galloping?
A. Flying, as it is a much more majestic way to make an entrance. Generally I gallop around the house, though.
Q. Current profession?
A. Ass-kicker and champion for the downtrodden.
Q. Favorite color?
A. Indigo, natch.
Q. First thought when confronted with waking up?
A. Will today be the day I finally gore Dick Cheney with my magical horn?
Q. Are you a lover or a fighter?
A. A fighter for sure, but my strength comes from the collective love of 12 year old girls and gay men everywhere, so...
Q. Favorite Categories thing?
A. Mark Boltz's insane obsession with yam salve.
Q. What were you doing right before I started asking you a bunch of inane questions?
A. Preening my fantastic and impressive wings.
Q. Can you elucidate on some of your unique ass-kicking powers?
A. I discover new ones every day! But I am a trained in the art of tae-corn do, which is a unique brand of mma for unicorns. I have various magical powers that are only revealed to those whom I fight... so hopefully you never find out what they are.
Q. Favorite food thing of the moment?
A. Baked hay casserole with truffle oil.
Q. What are your thoughts on the subject of yam salve?
A. If Mark Boltz knew what it REALLY was, he wouldn't be slathering it around so generously. (I am also omniscient)
Q. Tell us about your current creative project/s.
A. Currently I am working on a book called "Unicorns: The Truth Behind the Horn" which will expose a lot of misconceptions, half truths and downright myths about winged unicorns. I also have a 7 octave range and am working on a concept album with Enya.
Heartstar Indigo Lovetouch can be found ass-kicking all over facebook here:
https://www.facebook.com/heartstarindigo.lovetouch
Monday, February 11, 2013
Categories Player Interview the Twelfth: Dr. Ham
Introduction
Dr. Ham is a man of many medicinal machinations regarding ham. (Or I could be making that up.) A radio rapscallion, a man of varied interests, a lover of music, sci-fi, horror, comics and beads, Dr. Ham invented the ritual of the Punishment Song, which is a song played to torture anyone who makes a request during his radio show who is not paying attention to the theme or format of the show. The show and the Punishment Songs happen on Friday night at WRKC during Dr. Ham's Dance Party. ( http://wrkc.kings.edu/ ) I suspect that folks request things that are out of format on purpose because the Punishment Songs are hilari-awesome. (I know that I do.)
People of the interwebs! I present to you Dr. Ham.
Interview
Q. How do you use awesome sauce?
A. I use awesomesauce as lubricant on my evil scientific devices.
Q. Winter or Summer? Why?
A. Winter, because the snow brings the wolves, and I could use some watchdogs here at Castle Ham.
Q. Favorite clothing item?
A. My top hat.
Q. What were you doing right before I started asking you a bunch of inane questions?
A. Feeding the zombies some macaroni and spleen. They love it!
Q. What started your interest in radio?
A. It gave me something to distract me when I went through a dark period (DARK PERIOD!!!) where none of my inventions and evil schemes were working. Plus, I hear it's a good way to meet the chicks.
Q. Favorite thing about Dr. Ham's Dance party?
A. That I can play different formats of music, the station powers-that-be don't bother me about it, and some people actually like it. Which is good, because most of the music people listen to is crap. Hopefully, Dr. Ham can change that.
Q. Favorite beverage of the moment?
A. Grape soda mixed with milk. I'm also very fond of Yoo-Hoo.
Q. What is your current favorite escapist pleasure?
A. Building giant robots and then letting them run amok on some poor unsuspecting city. Oh, yes, I also enjoy collecting weird old movies.
Q. Favorite musical moment?
A. That's a tough one. There's probably a couple -a)meeting Robyn Hitchcock at the Scranton Cultural Center, b) Seeing and meeting 3/4 of Talking Heads at Webster Hall, c)Seeing Faith No More with a then unknown Helmet at the F.M. Kirby center, d)Seeing and meeting Eilen Jewell at the Mauch Cunk Opera House, e) Seeing the Cramps in concert, f)getting dragged onto stage by Mike Ford of Moxy Fruvous during a performance of "Spiderman" at the Wetlands.
Q. Favorite source of protein?
A. Gyros!
Q. Tell us about your current creative project/s.
A. Building an army of zombies and giant robots to take over the world (if those two lab mice don't beat me to it first!), doing my anti-valentine's show (Feb. and continuing February's music format of goth, industrial, and new age, followed by folk-rock in March. I'd also like to set up a FB page for the show at some point soon.
Dr. Ham is a man of many medicinal machinations regarding ham. (Or I could be making that up.) A radio rapscallion, a man of varied interests, a lover of music, sci-fi, horror, comics and beads, Dr. Ham invented the ritual of the Punishment Song, which is a song played to torture anyone who makes a request during his radio show who is not paying attention to the theme or format of the show. The show and the Punishment Songs happen on Friday night at WRKC during Dr. Ham's Dance Party. ( http://wrkc.kings.edu/ ) I suspect that folks request things that are out of format on purpose because the Punishment Songs are hilari-awesome. (I know that I do.)
People of the interwebs! I present to you Dr. Ham.
Interview
Q. How do you use awesome sauce?
A. I use awesomesauce as lubricant on my evil scientific devices.
Q. Winter or Summer? Why?
A. Winter, because the snow brings the wolves, and I could use some watchdogs here at Castle Ham.
Q. Favorite clothing item?
A. My top hat.
Q. What were you doing right before I started asking you a bunch of inane questions?
A. Feeding the zombies some macaroni and spleen. They love it!
Q. What started your interest in radio?
A. It gave me something to distract me when I went through a dark period (DARK PERIOD!!!) where none of my inventions and evil schemes were working. Plus, I hear it's a good way to meet the chicks.
Q. Favorite thing about Dr. Ham's Dance party?
A. That I can play different formats of music, the station powers-that-be don't bother me about it, and some people actually like it. Which is good, because most of the music people listen to is crap. Hopefully, Dr. Ham can change that.
Q. Favorite beverage of the moment?
A. Grape soda mixed with milk. I'm also very fond of Yoo-Hoo.
Q. What is your current favorite escapist pleasure?
A. Building giant robots and then letting them run amok on some poor unsuspecting city. Oh, yes, I also enjoy collecting weird old movies.
Q. Favorite musical moment?
A. That's a tough one. There's probably a couple -a)meeting Robyn Hitchcock at the Scranton Cultural Center, b) Seeing and meeting 3/4 of Talking Heads at Webster Hall, c)Seeing Faith No More with a then unknown Helmet at the F.M. Kirby center, d)Seeing and meeting Eilen Jewell at the Mauch Cunk Opera House, e) Seeing the Cramps in concert, f)getting dragged onto stage by Mike Ford of Moxy Fruvous during a performance of "Spiderman" at the Wetlands.
Q. Favorite source of protein?
A. Gyros!
Q. Tell us about your current creative project/s.
A. Building an army of zombies and giant robots to take over the world (if those two lab mice don't beat me to it first!), doing my anti-valentine's show (Feb. and continuing February's music format of goth, industrial, and new age, followed by folk-rock in March. I'd also like to set up a FB page for the show at some point soon.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Categories Player Interview The Eleventh: Jen Violi
Introduction
Jen Violi is a Portlandadian. Oregonista. I met her cyberspace via a person I know from the long and distant past (the 90s times radio-land) Mr. Jeff Blasinski. He said Jen reminded him of me, was also a writer, and pretty kick-ass.
He said, "You guys should be friends."
I said, "She's like me? Well, that's pretty killer. HELLS YEAH! BRING IT! WITH TWO OF ME WE SHALL TRAVEL ALL OF THE DIMENSIONS AND RULE THE KNOWN AND UNKNOWN UNIVERSES! WE WILL RIDE UNICORNS INTO THE SUPERNOVA TOGETHER WITH OUR LIGHT SABERS BLAZING AND A XENA-LIKE WAR CRY UPON OUR LIPS!!!"
Then I realized that I can't actually stray that far away from the coffee maker because it physically hurts. So Jen and I shall have to wait patiently while we gather minions...
It is with great pride and evil, world dominating laughter that I bring you Jen Violi.
Interview
Q. What’s the best/worst piece of writing advice you’ve ever received?
A. The worst came recently from a bizarre commenter on a blog post I wrote—he suggested that I pander to the leanings of my audience. Terrible advice. I’m all for revising to make something readable, to make it the best of what it is, to make it as much of a gift as I can for readers, but not for squelching my true writing voice and beliefs. The best I think came from reading Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones—in the late ‘90s, when I first took her suggestion to get into the practice of writing without stopping or editing myself, it was a revelation. And it still is. There’s so much good stuff and icky stuff and fascinating stuff below the surface chatter.
Q. Ampersands or hashtags?
A. Ampersands. They’re so lovely and swirly. Hashtags sounds like something you need a cream for.
Q. Turducken or stuffed squash?
A. Stuffed squash, clearly. And so it has been written, “one meat shall not be stuffed within another.” Oh wait, maybe I take that back. As with all religious proclamations, there are always exceptions. And I should not scoff at the turducken until someone makes me one. Any takers?
Q. Writing wardrobe?
A. Often, long hippie skirt or purple PJ pants. The most essential ingredient is elastic.
Q. What were you doing right before I started asking you a bunch of inane questions?
A. Although it seemed easier to just drink my coffee, forcing myself to eat breakfast because I know I’ll feel better for it later.
Q. What’s on your desk right now?
A. Oh, so much delight! Let’s go left to right, and I’ll stick to the highlights:
• stone turtle Buddha
• red metallic goose neck desk lamp
• the remains of my breakfast (apple, challah toast—why is that bread so GOOD, by the way? Do they put crack in it? Yam salve?)
• paperweight with a real scorpion preserved in glass
• vintage cardboard fan with a wooden handle from an Ohio funeral home. The fan features Jesus on the front and on the back, the name of the funeral home, the two digit phone number, and one of my favorite punctuation issues—bizarre/inappropriate usage of quotation marks. In this case: “Air Conditioned” (which I’m assuming didn’t work so well since they had these fans made) and “WHERE PARKING IS NO PROBLEM.”
• Dried lavender I picked in Hood River, OR
• A three-legged clay pig
• My coffee
Q. Favorite mythical creature?
A. Picking just one seems sick and wrong, but since you’ve pushed me into this corner, I’ll just keep shouting “Sasquatch!” until you bring me one to talk (grunt?) me down and carry me home in his big furry arms.
Q. Basement or Attic? Why?
A. Attic for sure. Basements are creeptastic. Attics are where you can have skylights or alcoves or sweet writing desks. Or Greg Brady’s groovy bedroom.
Q. Boots, Sneakers, or Stilettos?
A. Booooooots. Because it’s the most fun to say. Also, neither my skeletal system nor my lack of grace allow me to wear anything with a heel.
Q. If you could collaborate on a project with anyone living, dead or imaginary, who would you pick?
A. Hands down, Freddie Mercury. He and I would write the BEST MUSICAL EVER.
Q. Tell us about your current creative project/s.
A. I’m working on the eighth draft of a new novel, while still spreading the word about novel # 1 (Putting Makeup on Dead People), blogging here and there and everywhere, slathering as much awesomesauce as I can onto my monthly email newsletter for my bizness (you can sign up at www.jenvioli.com!), continuing to grow my work as writing coach and developmental editor, and last but not least, exploring the staggering realm of possibility that is making puddings out of coconut milk.
Jen Violi is a Portlandadian. Oregonista. I met her cyberspace via a person I know from the long and distant past (the 90s times radio-land) Mr. Jeff Blasinski. He said Jen reminded him of me, was also a writer, and pretty kick-ass.
He said, "You guys should be friends."
I said, "She's like me? Well, that's pretty killer. HELLS YEAH! BRING IT! WITH TWO OF ME WE SHALL TRAVEL ALL OF THE DIMENSIONS AND RULE THE KNOWN AND UNKNOWN UNIVERSES! WE WILL RIDE UNICORNS INTO THE SUPERNOVA TOGETHER WITH OUR LIGHT SABERS BLAZING AND A XENA-LIKE WAR CRY UPON OUR LIPS!!!"
Then I realized that I can't actually stray that far away from the coffee maker because it physically hurts. So Jen and I shall have to wait patiently while we gather minions...
It is with great pride and evil, world dominating laughter that I bring you Jen Violi.
Interview
Q. What’s the best/worst piece of writing advice you’ve ever received?
A. The worst came recently from a bizarre commenter on a blog post I wrote—he suggested that I pander to the leanings of my audience. Terrible advice. I’m all for revising to make something readable, to make it the best of what it is, to make it as much of a gift as I can for readers, but not for squelching my true writing voice and beliefs. The best I think came from reading Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones—in the late ‘90s, when I first took her suggestion to get into the practice of writing without stopping or editing myself, it was a revelation. And it still is. There’s so much good stuff and icky stuff and fascinating stuff below the surface chatter.
Q. Ampersands or hashtags?
A. Ampersands. They’re so lovely and swirly. Hashtags sounds like something you need a cream for.
Q. Turducken or stuffed squash?
A. Stuffed squash, clearly. And so it has been written, “one meat shall not be stuffed within another.” Oh wait, maybe I take that back. As with all religious proclamations, there are always exceptions. And I should not scoff at the turducken until someone makes me one. Any takers?
Q. Writing wardrobe?
A. Often, long hippie skirt or purple PJ pants. The most essential ingredient is elastic.
Q. What were you doing right before I started asking you a bunch of inane questions?
A. Although it seemed easier to just drink my coffee, forcing myself to eat breakfast because I know I’ll feel better for it later.
Q. What’s on your desk right now?
A. Oh, so much delight! Let’s go left to right, and I’ll stick to the highlights:
• stone turtle Buddha
• red metallic goose neck desk lamp
• the remains of my breakfast (apple, challah toast—why is that bread so GOOD, by the way? Do they put crack in it? Yam salve?)
• paperweight with a real scorpion preserved in glass
• vintage cardboard fan with a wooden handle from an Ohio funeral home. The fan features Jesus on the front and on the back, the name of the funeral home, the two digit phone number, and one of my favorite punctuation issues—bizarre/inappropriate usage of quotation marks. In this case: “Air Conditioned” (which I’m assuming didn’t work so well since they had these fans made) and “WHERE PARKING IS NO PROBLEM.”
• Dried lavender I picked in Hood River, OR
• A three-legged clay pig
• My coffee
Q. Favorite mythical creature?
A. Picking just one seems sick and wrong, but since you’ve pushed me into this corner, I’ll just keep shouting “Sasquatch!” until you bring me one to talk (grunt?) me down and carry me home in his big furry arms.
Q. Basement or Attic? Why?
A. Attic for sure. Basements are creeptastic. Attics are where you can have skylights or alcoves or sweet writing desks. Or Greg Brady’s groovy bedroom.
Q. Boots, Sneakers, or Stilettos?
A. Booooooots. Because it’s the most fun to say. Also, neither my skeletal system nor my lack of grace allow me to wear anything with a heel.
Q. If you could collaborate on a project with anyone living, dead or imaginary, who would you pick?
A. Hands down, Freddie Mercury. He and I would write the BEST MUSICAL EVER.
Q. Tell us about your current creative project/s.
A. I’m working on the eighth draft of a new novel, while still spreading the word about novel # 1 (Putting Makeup on Dead People), blogging here and there and everywhere, slathering as much awesomesauce as I can onto my monthly email newsletter for my bizness (you can sign up at www.jenvioli.com!), continuing to grow my work as writing coach and developmental editor, and last but not least, exploring the staggering realm of possibility that is making puddings out of coconut milk.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Categories Player Interview the Tenth: Sue Babcock
Introduction
I met Sue Babcock several years ago online through a network of fiction writers. We've critiqued each others work and found a home for it with the online magazine Liquid Imagination, a publication for which Sue is now the managing editor and publisher. She writes and generally rocks whatever she is doing. I was really excited when she said she was game for a Categories Interview because we get to visit The Realm of Writerly Awesomesauce.
Interview
Q. What’s the best/worst piece of writing advice you’ve ever received?
A. The best advice was to write ever day. My creative writing teacher emphasized this, which was the first time I heard it. Since then, just about ever craft book or blog I've read includes this advice, and I do find that if I am not writing every day, even for a few minutes, three things happen. First - no writing gets done (duh!). Second - the creative side of my brain atrophies. Third - my pet dragon that lives under my desk gets hungry and starts gnawing on my toes if I don't write.
The worst piece of advice - hmmm - write only what you know. If I stuck to that model, I'd never write anything (who wants to hear about concrete, for pete's sake), and my dragon would go hungry.
Most people don't believe me when I talk about my dragon, but I assure you he is as real as my writing. He's aqua blue with cobalt blue points that run all the way down his back to the tip of his tail. Last night, as he frolicked in the cavernous space under my desk, he poked his nose out and scared the heck out of my cat. Now my cat won't sit on my lap anymore, so I make Leumas (that's Samuel spelled backwards) keep my lap warm while I'm working at my computer. I do have to make him turn away from the desk when he sneezes. The flames are hard on my monitor and computer.
Q. Alliteration or onomatopoeia?
A. Definitely alliteration - in moderation! I tend to get taken out of a story with a "Grunt" or "Bang." Even more so with "she sells sea shells by the seashore."
Q. Fork, spoon or spork?
A. Fingers... Oh, wait. That wasn't one of the choices. But everything you can eat with a fork, you can eat with your fingers, and everything you can eat with a spoon, you can drink. So who needs utensils?
Q. Writing wardrobe?
A. I definitely have to have shoes on when I write so my dragon, Leumas, doesn't eat my toes. Beyond that, anything goes. Right now I have on military-style cargo pants and a warm fuzzy jacket.
Q. What were you doing right before I started asking you a bunch of inane questions?
A. Asking you a bunch of not so inane questions. I'm looking forward to hearing your narration of a story in Liquid Imagination. (www.liquid-imagination.com)
Q. What’s on your desk right now?
A. EVERYTHING, including my dragon. He came out from under my desk to see what the heck I was working on. It's not often that he sees me actually typing something, rather than staring at a blank piece of paper on my screen. His blue points shimmer in the light from my window, and his fiery breath just charred one of the stacks of stories submission I wanted to read.
Q. Favorite food thing of the moment?
A. Something fattening - hmmmm, like homemade gingerbread. I decided to lose a few pounds and am getting really tired of all those salads and chicken dinners. I made a luscious soft gingerbread cookie, redolent with molasses, ginger and cinnamon.
Q. Indoors or outdoors? Why?
A. Outdoors. If you've ever owned a pet dragon, you'd know why. Plus, the sun, the grass, the sky, the trees, the rain, the snow, the ice, the garden, the park... Who could not love being outdoors?
Q. Argyle or plain white socks?
A. Argyle, for both me and my dragon. My argyle socks keep my dragon from eating my toes, especially if they are argyle socks with blue dragons embroidered on them; then he thinks he's looking in a mirror. And when I put them on my dragon, he immediately settles down and goes to sleep - almost like magic.
Q. If you could collaborate on a project with anyone living, dead or imaginary, who would you pick?
A. Thomas Jefferson. He was a brilliant inventor, writer, and creative thinker.
Q. Tell us about your current creative project/s.
A. My biggest project right now is the development of the Silver Pen website (silverpen.org). The Silver Pen Writers' Association is a non-profit organization with the mission to assist writers of all ages in poetry, fiction, and creative non-fiction to produce quality work and to help them develop successful writing careers. The website is still fairly new, and we continue to iron out the bugs as we expand its functionality.
I'm also the publisher of one of the Silver Pen magazines. Liquid Imagination (www.liquid-imagination.com) was started by John Miller, but when he became overwhelmed by life, I took it over and moved it under the auspices of Silver Pen. The staff on this magazine is great, and we continue to publish sci-fi, modern fantasy and dark stories, poems and flash about life.
Finally, I'm working on a novel. I'm hoping it will be a YA novel, but sometimes I wander into darkness where kids should not follow, so I'll have to wait and see how it comes out. It is set in the Middle Ages, in Europe, and follows the path of a peasant boy who is the keeper of an abusive lord's pigeons, as the boy grows to be a man who must be reckoned with.
I met Sue Babcock several years ago online through a network of fiction writers. We've critiqued each others work and found a home for it with the online magazine Liquid Imagination, a publication for which Sue is now the managing editor and publisher. She writes and generally rocks whatever she is doing. I was really excited when she said she was game for a Categories Interview because we get to visit The Realm of Writerly Awesomesauce.
Interview
Q. What’s the best/worst piece of writing advice you’ve ever received?
A. The best advice was to write ever day. My creative writing teacher emphasized this, which was the first time I heard it. Since then, just about ever craft book or blog I've read includes this advice, and I do find that if I am not writing every day, even for a few minutes, three things happen. First - no writing gets done (duh!). Second - the creative side of my brain atrophies. Third - my pet dragon that lives under my desk gets hungry and starts gnawing on my toes if I don't write.
The worst piece of advice - hmmm - write only what you know. If I stuck to that model, I'd never write anything (who wants to hear about concrete, for pete's sake), and my dragon would go hungry.
Most people don't believe me when I talk about my dragon, but I assure you he is as real as my writing. He's aqua blue with cobalt blue points that run all the way down his back to the tip of his tail. Last night, as he frolicked in the cavernous space under my desk, he poked his nose out and scared the heck out of my cat. Now my cat won't sit on my lap anymore, so I make Leumas (that's Samuel spelled backwards) keep my lap warm while I'm working at my computer. I do have to make him turn away from the desk when he sneezes. The flames are hard on my monitor and computer.
Q. Alliteration or onomatopoeia?
A. Definitely alliteration - in moderation! I tend to get taken out of a story with a "Grunt" or "Bang." Even more so with "she sells sea shells by the seashore."
Q. Fork, spoon or spork?
A. Fingers... Oh, wait. That wasn't one of the choices. But everything you can eat with a fork, you can eat with your fingers, and everything you can eat with a spoon, you can drink. So who needs utensils?
Q. Writing wardrobe?
A. I definitely have to have shoes on when I write so my dragon, Leumas, doesn't eat my toes. Beyond that, anything goes. Right now I have on military-style cargo pants and a warm fuzzy jacket.
Q. What were you doing right before I started asking you a bunch of inane questions?
A. Asking you a bunch of not so inane questions. I'm looking forward to hearing your narration of a story in Liquid Imagination. (www.liquid-imagination.com)
Q. What’s on your desk right now?
A. EVERYTHING, including my dragon. He came out from under my desk to see what the heck I was working on. It's not often that he sees me actually typing something, rather than staring at a blank piece of paper on my screen. His blue points shimmer in the light from my window, and his fiery breath just charred one of the stacks of stories submission I wanted to read.
Q. Favorite food thing of the moment?
A. Something fattening - hmmmm, like homemade gingerbread. I decided to lose a few pounds and am getting really tired of all those salads and chicken dinners. I made a luscious soft gingerbread cookie, redolent with molasses, ginger and cinnamon.
Q. Indoors or outdoors? Why?
A. Outdoors. If you've ever owned a pet dragon, you'd know why. Plus, the sun, the grass, the sky, the trees, the rain, the snow, the ice, the garden, the park... Who could not love being outdoors?
Q. Argyle or plain white socks?
A. Argyle, for both me and my dragon. My argyle socks keep my dragon from eating my toes, especially if they are argyle socks with blue dragons embroidered on them; then he thinks he's looking in a mirror. And when I put them on my dragon, he immediately settles down and goes to sleep - almost like magic.
Q. If you could collaborate on a project with anyone living, dead or imaginary, who would you pick?
A. Thomas Jefferson. He was a brilliant inventor, writer, and creative thinker.
Q. Tell us about your current creative project/s.
A. My biggest project right now is the development of the Silver Pen website (silverpen.org). The Silver Pen Writers' Association is a non-profit organization with the mission to assist writers of all ages in poetry, fiction, and creative non-fiction to produce quality work and to help them develop successful writing careers. The website is still fairly new, and we continue to iron out the bugs as we expand its functionality.
I'm also the publisher of one of the Silver Pen magazines. Liquid Imagination (www.liquid-imagination.com) was started by John Miller, but when he became overwhelmed by life, I took it over and moved it under the auspices of Silver Pen. The staff on this magazine is great, and we continue to publish sci-fi, modern fantasy and dark stories, poems and flash about life.
Finally, I'm working on a novel. I'm hoping it will be a YA novel, but sometimes I wander into darkness where kids should not follow, so I'll have to wait and see how it comes out. It is set in the Middle Ages, in Europe, and follows the path of a peasant boy who is the keeper of an abusive lord's pigeons, as the boy grows to be a man who must be reckoned with.
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