Wednesday, January 23, 2013

A Breakdown of Categories Awards: Part the First (Probably)

It was suggested that perhaps The Categories Players would like a breakdown/explanation of the the Categories Awards.

(For anyone unfamiliar with Categories as it is played on my facebook page, it is explained in detail here: )

It is difficult to begin, there are so many! So Categories Players who are actually reading this, if you notice one that is missing, help a sister out and leave a comment about any egregious omissions in the comments section.

Highest (and most frequently granted) award is the Yam Salve Award. This award is granted to the first category relevant answer containing yam salve. For further information about the legend of yam salve, refer to the post I linked earlier.

The Most Thumbs Award is less frequently given, probably because it is less fun than some of the other awards and I often forget to award it. Another reason I forget to grant the Most Thumbs Award is that you bastards are too f*cking funny for me to keep track of everything that categories has spawned. (I say that with a great deal of affection.) This award is self-explanatory. The comment or commenter with the most "likes" in a category gets the Most Thumbs. Of course, once they have the most thumbs I do have a concern that the person in question will suffer from difficulties with buttons. Then again, there is always the modern miracle of Velcro...

The Cheney Award has a long and sordid history, of course. The Cheney was first used outside of the categories game for a writer's critique group that I participate in with the incomparable Rune Skelley. ( ) In the critique group whenever we got sidetracked for too long from the actual work of critique, someone would yell, "Cheney!" as a signal for us to get back on topic. The Cheney Award, as it functions in Categories, is granted to the players who take us off into side conversations that have little to do with the category... as The High Priestess of Yam Salve, Joy Downey, would put it, the emergence of roflcopters.

The Breaking Reggie Award   is granted to those who manage to deliver a category answer that gets burned into my already scarred and crazy brain. This one can be unpredictable.

The Aw! So Cute Award is another self-explanatory one. It goes to cute or sweet answers.

The Poetry Award  is granted to the most heartfelt, touching and sometimes downright beautiful answer. It isn't always snark and weird activities involving private parts. (Just most of the time)

The You Read My Mind Award goes to the person who delivers unto the Categories Players the answer that popped into my head when I posted the category.

The Bob Digi Award is named for Bob Digi, a man responsible for ab-aching laughter, epic trampoline antics, the memorable video game line, "Come over here, squire! Help me with my cod-piece!" and countless jokes about everything from difficulties walking and chewing gum at the same time to, yes, feminine hygiene products. This goes to the first person to mention feminine hygiene products in an answer. If you receive a Bob Digi award, you my friend, are breathing rarefied air, indeed.

A rather recent edition to the list of awards is the "You like me, you really like me" Sally Fields Multiple Awards Award. This is another one of those self-explanatory things. If you get four or more awards in a single categories thread this award is yours. It's a Mark Boltz creation, which I am pretty sure he created for himself because he is the only person to have gotten one.

FTW, or, For the Win! is totally arbitrarily granted by me. I decide who wins. My criteria is varied and whimsical. The win is often determined by whatever randomness is circulating in my head, how much chocolate I have allowed myself to consume, mood, sense of aesthetics, the day's word count... well... you get the point. Often, no one wins, because once again, you sons-of-bitches are too f*cking funny for me to remember this one sometimes.

The Callback Award is awarded to the categories player who references, unmistakeably, a previous category.

Last but definitely not least is the Categories Players Award. I am not precisely certain of the criteria for this one. Dennis Kalup created it. I think the player who exhibits that joie de vivre (or is it ge ne sais quois?) in a striking way acquires this award. The arbiter of the aforementioned award is Dennis Kalup.

So, Categories Players, if I missed an award, I call upon thee to elucidate upon the missed award for the benefit of thoroughness and posterity (and possibly posteriors.)

See you at the game.


This update comes to you on February 3, 2013, only three days into Reggie-gras. So far this month I have been giddy, cranky, stressed, joyful, tired, sweaty and hungry, among other things. Several new awards have been created by the Categories Players. I suspect the creation of these awards is a calculated move by the High Priest to ensure more literature regarding the Yam Salve Cult's ritual of playing categories on facebook. Well done, Mark Boltz!

(I must admit that doing this is a lot more fun than thinking about the Super Bowl.)

The Stephen King Creepy Award - This award goes to the categories player who works in any reference to a Stephen King creation. Okay, that infamous line from IT. "We all float down here." If you can work that line into a categories conversation, this award is yours.

The You're So Punny! Award - Um. Puns. Intentional, incidental, accidental, lame, three-legged and feathered. Just, puns.

Crossing Media Streams Award - When another form of social media is mentioned. This is a Mark Boltz creation, so there may be other requirements here that I'm not mentioning.

Discretion is the Better Part of Velour Award - This can only be granted by the great Yam Salva. This award is granted to those categories players who decide to keep a thought to themselves. (This is an extremely rare occurrence. Sightings of the Loch Ness monster are far more common.) I suspect it may also be granted to persons who are quiet whilst wearing Velour.

That's it... for now...

If I missed any, post it, ya'll!

1 comment:

  1. It was an oversight in the game, but the Crossing Streams award was referential to Ghostbusters, so it should properly be titled the "Ghostbusters Award"; it's awarded to anyone who can cross-reference one or more social media topics into a categories answer. But it has to be related to something Reggie did on Spotty Times, Twitter, or whatever other social media she's on. So go follow her on Twitter!


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