Thursday, January 17, 2013

Categories Player Interview The Second: Matt Gourley

For the back story of how these interviews came into being, see the first interview.


I met Matt Gourley through a mutual friend who knew that we both geeked out over similar, if not the same, stuff. I vaguely recall drunken Halloween fun, and more explicitly recall being abused by Bernd at Herwig's Austrian Bistro in State College, PA. (We liked it. That was a serious paddle. Serious like a transient ischemia. Damn.)

Meet Matt. You will love him.

The Interview

Q. Toaster or toaster oven?

A.  Toaster oven. Maybe not as good for toasting as a toaster, but is a nice multi-tasker. Yes, I watched too much Alton Brown back in the day.

Q. What is your favorite item from a toolbox?

A.  Hammer. Makes everything look like a nail, and since I have more than one, I can make them march like at the end of "The Wall".

Q. Chaps or chapstick?

A. Toughie. I hate putting stuff on my lips, and am neutral about chaps. So, chaps. I guess. By default.

Q. Have you been properly indoctrinated by the High Priestess to the Yam Salve cult?

A.  I have not! And I bought all these little clay pots and everything. Could you say something to her? She hasn't replied to my emails...

Q. What were you doing right before I started asking you a bunch of inane questions?

A.  Eating dinner, what I like to call the Benjamin Disraeli. Three Hebrew National franks between two slices of toast, covered with beans. Tasty, multi-cultural *and* kosher.

Q. Hey baby, what’s your sign?

A.  "Open for Business." No, wait. "Now Hiring." Hold it, I've got it: "Home of The Whopper."

Q. Favorite Categories thing?

A. Before tonight, that moment when I win the Yam Salve Award. Now it's winning the Aw That's Cute award for mentioning bunnies.

Q. In a world without bacon, what would you do?

A.  I will assume here that bacon is no more rather than never was. Ya ever see SpongeBob SquarePants? Ya know how, when he gets in a panic, he runs around holding a spatula and screaming at the top of his lungs? That'd be me.

Q. Favorite thing about doing homework?

A. The adrenaline rush I get just as I start to panic that it won't be done on time.

Q. Indoor plumbing?

A. No matter what you mean by it, it's always a favorite.

Q. Tell us about your current creative project/s.

A. I'm trying to keep up with Reggie on creating flash fiction. I've got about 6,000 words of a novella-length-at-best story about a detective in Pittsburgh in the 2060s. And I'm learning to play the guitar. Add to this working on a Masters degree in an attempt to get out of a lifetime sentence as an IT weenie, and it makes it difficult to cram in 8 hours of television a day.

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